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-headdesk-

"I see this stuff coming from six months out and then I take it right in the teeth every time!"
~Peter Burke, White Collar "Pilot"


It's already mid-March! Oddly, even with all of the Pyramids Press staff taking breaks from fanzines this year, a part of me still stresses over preparing for Mediawest*Con 2010.

In honor of the upcoming con, aka "the biggest family/friend reunion" this side of the Mississippi, I've posted some unofficial guidelines for May...


1. no weird sigils scrawled in chocolate on our doors (that might violate the con's door decorations rules)
2. no tping each other's rooms with hotel toilet paper
3. no sake bombing (hiccup)
4. no horse stampedes in panels (hey, it can happen!)
5. no decaffeined coffee
6. no sugar-free Tim Tams (evil!)
7. no more than 999 plot bunnies may be given/corrupted/brainwashed per con-goer
8. no saying "I don't feel like Bob Evans today"
9. no running down the hallways, nekked (refer to number 3), bellowing controversial fandom pairings. Do at your own risk.
10. no Caf-Pow new formula
11. no number eleven here! -snicker-
12. no evil, takeover the world plotting done while wearing pink and green neon, fluffy nighties. (that includes feathered boas of mentioned color)
13. no zombie make outs (undead displays of affection have been assigned to the party suite located on the 666th floor)
14. no hotwiring Chevy '67 Impalas found in the hotel parking lots
15. no Obi-Wan-ing
16. no mud flea vaccines
17. no hypospray-and-running (because no, you can't fix that)
18. no emotional compromising every Vulcan you see there
19. no crossing the streams or risk possible tearing or ectoplasmic gooey, marshmellowy mess
20. no deaf wolves unaccompanied by Mounties (uniforms a must)
21. no Intersect spies are allowed in without a Subway 6" sandwich in their hands
22. no Engine 51 without Squad 51 (A shift please)
23. no unmasked Stigs
24. no opening the rift to travel. Airfare is not that expensive
25. no blocking the roads leading to Crack Cracker Barrel
26. no Cylons allowed, you're not the droids we're looking for LOL
27. no inky eyes unless you agree to stand under a Solomon's Key for the con's duration
28. no cutting GPS anklets off unless grouchy FBI agents are in tow
29. NO TRANS-BEAMING PRIZED BEAGLES TO PROVE A POINT
30. no Centurian slugs out of jars
31. no time-traveling homicidal, widowed Romulans allowed into hotel unless accompanied by a time displaced Vulcan Ambassador
32. no driving cars off quarries. Besides, we'll be in Lansing, no nearby quarries of discernible, qualifying car tossing heights nearby
33. no throwing up on would-be starship captains in shuttles
34. no dead bodies can be moved without Ducky's permission
35. no falling in love with Joe Cartwright archetypes. For your own good. Really.
36. no running after lords on rickety piers and tripping up booby traps
37. no poking people with your light saber
38. no aliens? no Torchwood. Think about it.
39. no bana--no, ignore that one. I was told with good authority that bananas are full of vitamins and potassium
40. NO BRAIN WIPING COMPANIONS AND UTTERLY LEAVING THEM STATUS QUO
41. no Daleks permitted unless accompanied by a Gallifreyian
42. no calling big, mean looking Starfleet cadets 'Cupcake'
43. no red matter permitted in the hotel. Red jello, however...
NEW
44. no telling the potentially only male mystery writer around, that he is not ruggedly handsome
45. no showing up at crime scenes without your appropriately labeled flak jacket.
46. no attending the con wearing a costume that will eat your fellow con-goers
47. no taking your fellow con-goers into a blue police box for a "quick trip"
48. no taking over the universe before 8pm Friday Music Vids
49. no gathering of arch-nemesis-es in the hallways. All hallways must be cleared for fire safety. If you need to gather, please refer to the Party Suite sign-up sheet in your PR
50. no chanting very loudly to conjure up demons, evil dudes or monsters. Respect your neighbors. Use your inside voices, please
51. no sleeping (MWC is only four days. Don't waste it!)
52. no reading your fanzines while walking. You might collide into another doing the same


Not a lot of rules, eh? Did I miss one? Feel free to share!

See you all in May, con-goers!


Nostalgic MWC Quote of The Day:
From PINKY AND THE BRAIN

BRAIN: We're going to a place where the sun never sets, the size of your wallet matters, and actors and actresses slave all day!
PINKY: We're going to Denny's?!

July 2020

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