"The car, Roy, remember the CARRRRR!" SBG screamed at her computer screen. "Johnny's telling you something!"
I want more. Now. More power to ldyanne for getting this piecemeal. It woulda killed me. You've already got the angst and emotion down in a way only you can do. I can feel Roy's distress. Hank's worry. Poor Chet's confusion (though I think it's also denial)...
PS, you've got a couple tense issues still in the first part (fyi, nothing more), which I can point out in PM if you want. ;)
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"'Frog 1G9'?" Hank read.
"The car, Roy, remember the CARRRRR!" SBG screamed at her computer screen. "Johnny's telling you something!"
I want more. Now. More power to
PS, you've got a couple tense issues still in the first part (fyi, nothing more), which I can point out in PM if you want. ;)